My Personal Guide to Staying in a Good Mood
From feeling depressed to being the lightest person around
I’m not an expert on anything.
But over the years I figured out one important thing: how to stay in a good mood for no apparent reason.
It feeds back on itself and creates a blissful cycle, internally and externally, allowing me to be creative at will.
It’s uplifting and contagious. It is a cheerful backdrop, made of a higher emotional baseline.
The emotional baseline is the set point of how we typically feel when there are no meaningful external influences. Positive or negative. Should we ever so often feel down (or way high), we would always bounce back to a healthy default state.
Happiness cannot be forced like the happy-all-the-time facial expression the rich and beautiful emote at exclusive beach parties. This state is achieved gradually and requires time and self-awareness to cultivate.
Many factors affect our emotional baseline, such as genetics, life experiences, personality, and overall mental health. Sometimes we need professional mental health support, therapy or counseling. But it may not be available to us.
This article focuses on personal, actionable steps that anyone can implement. The things we can influence.
Bono wrote in his best song: “We’re one, but we’re not the same”. Find what works for you. Let the list below inspire you rather than restrict you.
We’re off to the most obvious point:
Express gratitude:
Always say thank you for things. Especially those you take for granted.
I won’t go to sleep before acknowledging at least five of them. You can do seven or three. In the morning, in the afternoon, in the shower, or waiting in line at the supermarket.
It’s relatively easy to set a habit of feeling positive about what you appreciate. The simplest things feel meaningful even when everything seems to fall apart.
Now, you may be too cool or cynical for this kind of thing. Great. Make it even more ridiculous, and make yourself laugh out loud at how silly it is.
Then repeat.
If you appreciate others or something they do, let them know. In person, in public, on the phone or a telegram.
Spread the bliss.
Journal your journey:
Write regularly about what’s going on in your mind. In a lighthearted way, introspective or any other style or format that feels right. Let it out. On paper, on your phone, whatever. Just make it happen regularly.
Recently, I write only three simple sentences. The good, the challenge, and the lesson of today. Do whatever works for you and don’t hesitate to switch things around.
Venting out our thoughts and feelings makes us feel lighter, and the chaos we call life makes a wee bit more sense.
Spin it around:
Replaying bad memories or regrets is unavoidable and doing it over and over again is highly distractive.
I like to spin them around and engage with them from different angles. It helps me to reframe those memories, forgive, and have a sense of resolve.
Visualize them fading out on a broken black-and-white tube screen. Or imagine your present self reacting differently to the same situation. Or be grateful for who you are nowadays.
You get the point.
Self-acceptance feels liberating.
Embrace more lightness and you’ll feel easier. Your relaxed self will radiate a new energy that those around you can feel, enjoy and reflect back to you.
Guard your mind:
Consuming negativity and bad news nonstop won’t get you into the promised state.
We live in times of sensationalism, extreme ideologies, and catastrophizing. Our natural morbid curiosity is being exploited on a regular basis so we must protect our minds actively. Nothing is going to get better if we keep all tabs, all the time.
There’s no exact formula here. If any sort of media makes you feel sad, worried, scared, or enraged, reduce or eliminate this source. It’s your call.
On that note, sharing terrible news on your Instagram stories is not activism, it only spreads polarization.
Do you want to help the world? Channel negativity to unite, not divide. Promote peace, organize a fundraiser, or step out and help someone in need.
Or do nothing.
It is far better than projecting aimless negativity.
Do meaningful things:
Save time for more intentional activities and be aware of how they affect you.
Do you do things that fill you up or leave you empty and sad? Choose the meaningful over the mindless more often.
You can learn a new skill, build something, fix something broken, write, go training, or hiking, feed stray cats, or bake your first cake.
You can do so many things that mean something to you.
Try something so different that your past self (of last week) would be floored to know.
Do things you’re not ready for, things that makes you feel alive. Your sense of worth will grow stronger through action.
If you’re seeking more focus, set goals, or at least have a clear sense of the direction you’re heading.
Be creative:
In the same way negativity repels creativity, creativity repels negativity.
If you have a craft, expressing yourself creatively is nothing new. However, creativity is not limited to artistic expression alone.
You could rearrange your room, change your routines, brainstorm new ideas, give yourself a new challenge, take cool photos, learn how to dance, cook something…
Come up with more ideas.
Be selective with people:
Let’s face it, loneliness sucks. We’re social creatures who thrive in communities. It is a survival mechanism, ingrained deeply in our psyche.
We want to be part of something bigger: a couple, a group of friends, a social club. The excitement of meeting someone new can be blinding. After the initial thrill subsides, pay attention to how things really feel. Being with the wrong person or group of people can bring you down.
Choose carefully who you share your emotional energy with. An abusive partner or a narcissistic ‘best friend’ can be incredibly destructive. Recovering from such relationships can be a long process.
It’s fine to be alone until the right company comes along.
On the other hand,
Socialize:
I know I just told you to spend more time by yourself but it’s not that simple. Staring at screens (or meditating, for that matter) is not enough to connect with the world.
Fellow introverts, we can’t hide forever. Let’s find the sweet spot between socializing and being alone.
Robert Greene wrote:
Since humans are such social creatures, it follows that the social arts that make us pleasant to be around can be practiced only by constant exposure and circulation.
The more you are in contact with others, the more graceful and at ease you become. Isolation, on the other hand, engenders an awkwardness in your gestures, and leads to further isolation, as people start avoiding you.
Be lazy:
Everybody knows that being physically active regularly can uplift our bodies and overall sense of being. There is an undeniable connection between an active body and a healthy mind.
Nobody talks about the value being lazy.
I’m not talking about doomscrolling through your favorite social media feed, I’m talking about doing nothing.
In a world where optimizing routines is the most common advice out there, living life, simply, can feel like being useless.
We are living beings, not productivity machines. Your worth is not tied to how much you accomplish.
Take a day off, daydream, or go outside and simply do nothing productive.
Treat yourself to something you like, drink tea, take a walk, observe people, hum a pop song, or reflect on your favorite musical.
Just be.
I’d love to know what you have to add to the list, please comment below.
Looking for more? Ten Habits That Slow Down Your Growth
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